Late Night Rambling Sessions
Once I was asked on what living was like for me and I would always reply things like travelling around the world, cliff jumping, sky diving and all other deadly stuffs. Then the person who asked told me, "so living for you is like completing a bucket list?" I shrugged and just nodded because if living was like at least completing or experiencing something new, then I'm down with it. But maybe that's where I was wrong, for my part. And that was me before. The same person asked me again just presently and this time my answer was "rambling about anything in the middle of the night under the stars with someone". As cheesy and boring as it seems, that's what living is like for me. Like I'd rather stay up and talk to someone and have long conversations and comfortable silences with them than being in a group and just have small talks, that's not what I live for.
I want people to talk to me about their insights about the book they love; I want people to talk about their irrational fear of the boogeyman under their bed; I want people to open their rarest form to me and I want people to be so passionate that they just get lost into the words they say that their ramblings are suddenly so endearing and you'll only wish that you would always be there to listen to them when their mouths form words. I don't care if it's already 2 a.m. in the morning, as long as we're not having empty conversations.
I made Late Night Rambling Sessions because this is how I express myself, my words through poetry. I figured that poetry is as beautiful as paintings and that they hold a huge amount of emotion that people can't vocalize properly. So without further a do, this is late night rambling sessions.
Writing to You
Here I am
Writing to you again
Hoping the words come out better
Hoping your heart see me better
I yearned to see you
To touch you
To feel you
Or even just to exist in your presence
I craved for you
Your eyes
Your soul
Your smile
And I loved you
But that was just it - loved
If I ever come back to that night
The night you looked me in the eyes
The night when your head was buried
Into the crook of my neck
The night when you sighed in happiness
Just because I kissed the space between your eyebrows
The night when I said that I love you
But then you stared right back
Smiled like a fool and I'm waiting for you
For you to say it back
But you never did
Instead you latched your lips on mine
Like that would suffice the ache in my heart
It lasted and you pulled away
You said you can't be there
For me like I wanted to be
You couldn't love me like I do to you
You couldn't save me like I will for you
Torn
Should I free fall and let myself be happy even for a while
Or face reality that she'll never even catch me if I fell
Unrequited Love
Purer as it'll ever be
There's something beautiful about loving unconditionally
When it's not even returned, a tragic love story
Jealous
It's crazy how I should be doing something
But here I am looking through pictures of you
And it hurts to say this but I am jealous
Jealous to see that someone else made you smile so happy
Jealous of the way that someone has taken my place
Right there by your side where I used to be in
How someone else could spark that light into your eyes
Like how I used to see fireworks dance around in them
Jealous of the way she looks at you
Because that's how she used to look at me
Jealous that I'll never be able to have you back
Even for a while, I'll never have you back
Maybe
Maybe we were meant to drift apart
Maybe we were falling too deep, too blind and we needed to stop
Or maybe, just maybe, we were never really meant to be
Maybe I held you close, too close
That a single slip, released you from my fingertips
Maybe I was so in love and stupid enough to think that we could last
That I ignored every sign pointing me away from you
Or maybe, just maybe, for once in my life I'm right
That I know what I'm feeling, that I know what I'm doing
I don't believe that God placed us together to teach us something
Because the only lesson I've learnt is that I'm truly, madly and deeply in love with you
But maybe that's just how it is
I can only hold onto the idea that I'm right
That I'm in love in you
And maybe, just maybe, you're still in love with me too
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